Tag: death

  • B.B., my “Little man”

    In the first week of May this year we found a tiny starving kitten locked in with the intact males in the house. We were not even aware he existed prior to dad hearing his cries. He must have been born when the door was still open to that room. And either of the lactating mothers must have been feeding them unbeknownst to us. Then once PeeWee was locked in that room to prevent more pregnancies, there was no way for the kitten to be fed. He was born in late March and as such his eyes and ears were open, but he still needed a momma to nurse from.

    I had a queen with one surviving kitten “Duckie” in my room. We gave the kitten to the queen, Paisley, in hopes she would accept and take care of him. Paisley was amazing and started to look after B.B. right away. I fell in love with this sweet, beautiful kitten. And I believe he loved me too, his secondary Momma.

    Everything was going fine until Paisley’s milk dried up. Duckie was 10 days to 2 weeks older than B.B., and he had started eating cat food before we had been able to entice B.B. to. B.B. would not co-operate and eat cat food, just tried to nurse. This, ultimately, would be his demise.

    The only thing he would eat was cream (from a cow). Coffee cream in a small glass dish he would lap out of. And for a time this was enough. But, he got a cold and would not eat much. We tried syringing the cream into his mouth, but he was too stubborn. He lost a lot of ground not eating much.

    This is B.B. (right) with his 2-3 month younger sibling Bennie (left)

    Above is a photo of B.B. and Bennie, both born off the queen, Bernie. Bernie went into heat very soon after birthing B.B. and got pregnant again immediately. Before we were able to trap PeeWee (completely feral cat that was let in by my cat hoarding father while I was away visiting my fiance in November of 2023) into the “den.”

    Rest in peace my special guy. I love you and treasure our time together.

  • July the month for celebration and of loss

    Today is my mother’s 72nd birthday. Truly a time to celebrate the person that gave me life. And is my best friend and confidante.

    My birthday is in November, 9/11 to be exact. I dreaded the month of November for 3 decades of my life. November had been the month of many heart-wrenching events.

    It seems that in recent years the month to dread has shifted from November to July. And this July has been a doozy so far.

    On the 13th SB (engaged to me since 2020) ended the 7+ year relationship…by text. He decided to devote his life to Jesus Christ and he took a vow of celibacy. Although this news was devastating I believe it to be for the best in the long run. I think we will remain good friends, but the dynamic has shifted.

    I also was nursing a sick kitten, B.B., when I received the text. And, very sadly, he died the evening of the 15th. Weirdly an adult cat, Penny started having seizures that day. She was dead by nightfall. A very sad event too.

    But today I decide to celebrate my mother. And forget the rest.

  • Loss and celebration

    Today is my mother’s 72nd birthday. I was, for as far back as I remember, dreading of the month of November. For many years starting in the late 80s or early 90s, the vast majority of my heart-wrenching events occurred in the month of November. Incidentally my birthday is in November, 9/11 to be exact. In recent years, 2025 in particular, July has become the month to dread.
    On July 13th SB (we were engaged since 2020) broke up with me via text. He devoted his life to Jesus Christ and took a vow of celibacy. Although it is for the besst in the long run, it was still devastating.
    At the time I was also nursing a beautiful kitten, B.B. On July 15th B.B. lost his battle with his mystery illness. An adult cat, Penny, started having seizures that morning, and was dead by nightfall too.
    I am infinitely grateful to my mom, my best friend and confidante. So today, July 17th, I celebrate her and temporarily forget the rest.
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