As caregivers we tend to put the needs of our patient above our own. This shows up often as not taking the time to do things for ourselves. Like skipping yoga or the gym to tend to pick up medications and other errands related to your charge.
Now add to this dynamic a romantic partner. How does it work?
Well, for me, I initially was in a relationship with someone who was also in caregiver role. Each of us was somewhat “stuck” where our parents reside, on opposite sides of the US/Canada border. The challenges of caregiving ultimately broke that relationship up, amicably. In particular, S not being able to come to Canada, and me not being able to travel often.
But now I am embarking on a new journey with a gentleman I met on eharmony. He has a normal life, with normal hours. I, on the other hand may be woken up in the middle of the night (if I even have been to sleep yet) to deal with the needs of my father. He spends more time awake between midnight and 6am than the rest of the day. I believe this is because his eyes are very light-sensitive.
My new beau, R, lives in a suburb of Toronto, 2.5-3 hours away. He goes to work at a set time, goes to the gym after work, getting home around 8pm. On Tuesday morning around 3am I was awoken by my father’s raised voice. Of course, when I got up to see what was wrong, it was just dad yelling at one of the cats. I lay back down and try to sleep, but to no avail.
So, when R gets home, I am barely keeping my eyes open despite having a short nap. I’m sure that we will figure it out.
