There are a variety of communication challenges for caregivers of patients with serious cognitive decline. In my situation my father lies to my mom and I, his doctors and other health care providers, and the family members he still talks to. If I challenge a lie he might become upset and fly off the handle, or he may react by ignoring. He has always had self-proclaimed “selective listening” and he has mastered the skill.
Another communication challenge for caregivers is if the patient is always changing their mind, but denies that it was ever different. An example from my life (this morning): When I woke up there was no one else awake. As I brewed a cup of coffee I went outside to check the weather and dump coffee grounds.
When I opened the door an outdoor cat named T.T. tried to waltz right past into the house. T.T. is a nursing mother of 4 approximately 10 day old kittens. She was obviously looking for food. Dad had told me earlier this week that if I were ever to see T.T. I was to give her food. So, I gave T.T. one of the kibble dishes from the house. I then opened a new kibble bag to top up the outdoor dish.
As I was doing this dad woke up and came downstairs. I told him what I had done and instead of appreciation, he barks “Well, the assholes will get it. Unless you sit out with it.” It was so difficult to just grab my coffee and not engage. He can get belligerent and downright cruel when he is in this mood. So there is no point in trying to discuss the situation.
I am fortunate that these are my main roadblocks to communication. Other caregivers may deal with other challenges including:
- Repetition – of questions, telling the same story with very short interval before telling again
- Physical aggression – hitting, pushing, punching
- Verbal aggression – shouting, swearing, belittling
- Lack of Recognition – of caregiver, of other family and friends
- Self harm
